Drag Queen Jackie Beat’s All-You-Can-Eat-Christmas put the “X” back in Xmas—a giddily profane two hours of full-bodied pastiche and “autobiographical” stand-up, aimed at an adult audience which didn’t mind a little witty smut and had no problem with the onslaught of heavy-handed single and double entendres.

Dressed in what might be called Dolly Parton on LSD drag—big hair, tight bodice, big boobs and bright holiday colors—Ms. Beat put on a cheery demeanor and too much makeup.   She began with a fairly innocuous version of “I Fall to Pieces”—made famous by Patsy Cline—re-titled “I Want Two Pieces,” referring to cake (?), and went on to “Do Some Blow” to the tune of “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!”  From then on, it was downhill—or uphill, depending on your point of view.  The B-52’s “Love Shack” became “Love Crack,” the first of too many references to being a “crack whore.”  (Fred Schneider, who wrote the song, was there.  Whether he enjoyed Jackie’s version was difficult to tell.)  Of course, there was “I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Clause” which, verse by verse, progressed from kissing to other activities, “I’m a Whore at Christmas”/”I’ll be Home for Christmas” and “Groped by the TSA”/”Born in the USA,” amongst a generous two-hour program of song and shtick.

Her banter was hilarious and quick-witted, hurling zingers at audience members and ridiculing herself in equal measure.  Her voice was strong and adaptable to styles ranging from Broadway belting to country/western, all sung to artful, pre-recorded, accompaniments.

Amidst the din of good-clean Holiday fare, Jackie Beat’s All-You-Can-Eat-Christmas was disturbingly funny and arrestingly and smartly vulgar.

Joel Benjamin
Cabaret Scenes
December 19, 2010
www.cabaretscenes.org